


Soulmates Don't Always Work

by Fidgegunkhause



Series: Old Fics [1]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, M/M, Soulmate-Identifying Timers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-31
Updated: 2016-03-31
Packaged: 2018-05-30 06:24:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6412567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fidgegunkhause/pseuds/Fidgegunkhause
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The universe was not always the best when it came to setting up the timers. (In which Ray's Soulmate is not his Soulmate.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Soulmates Don't Always Work

Ray remembered that when he was younger, he would stare at the inside of his wrist, watching the numbers click down every second. By the time he was in middle school, he knew what the Timer meant. By the time he was 15, he knew what day and hour and minute he would meet his Soulmate. By the time he was 18, at least half of his graduating class had met their Soulmate and he chose to ignore the Timer in order to live his life (mostly out of spite, but partly out of fear).

He slept with girls whose Timers who had run out on a Taken or had Blanked and he tried to make it through college on a minimum wage job, all the while becoming an avid fan of youtubers who recorded video game playthroughs. He never dated, though there were many offers. Ray wasn’t broken, Blanked or otherwise, so he couldn’t go out giving his love. He just wanted enjoy his life before he was practically forced by society and his own emotions to be committed to one person the rest of his life.

He felt bad for the unlucky ones he knew whose Soulmate was Taken or worse. They drank their lives away and they were so young that he couldn’t help but wonder if maybe they could’ve done better. He watched them down spiral through their addictions even as he played video games and watched speed runners in order to forget that he had a counter on his wrist that ticked down every second.

While college was good for socializing and learning from the smartest minds around, he had decided it wasn’t worth busting his ass over payments to not have any fun. He dropped out when he was around twenty and struggled with the little hours he got from Gamestop. For a while beforehand, he had been following a group called Roosterteeth that produced all sorts of gaming related things and met some people from the community. They became his solace when he became frustrated over payments, Timers, and everything that New York was giving him.

He met Michael (who lived only an hour away by train) when his Timer had gone down to six months. Michael was brash, kind, and very loud. He screamed at Ray and they made jokes together, combining the two more often than not. He would help him get achievements, and literally would eat just about anything if it was for money or the camera was on him. They grew close, Ray sharing about his college failure, and Michael telling him about his shitty job as an electrician.

When they planned to meet, because they genuinely got along outside of games, his Timer had gone down to a week.

Ray knew how his luck went, so he should’ve predicted that Michael would be his Soulmate. He should’ve have known that when they met at the subway, his Timer would’ve gone off. He should’ve have known from the date they planned to meet on, how the date seemed familiar to him in some way he couldn’t remember, like he had caught a smell he couldn't place. He should’ve known from how well they got along and how much attention he craved from the Jersey boy, to the point where it became borderline obsessive. But he didn’t. 

And he didn’t know that Michael’s would keep counting.

He was waiting right by the subway entrance, up the set of stairs that lead to the actual outside world. Ray kept scanning the crowds for that curly auburn hair that Michael insisted was brunet. His stomach was fluttering and doing all sorts of weird things that he associated with the nerves of a first meeting. He tried to ignore it, hoping that it wouldn’t be so bad as to make him too scared to speak or barf.

Beeping had been going off every few minutes since Ray got there. It wasn’t uncommon, especially in this city, to hear the sounds of Timers ending and Soulmates meeting. It was ten times more common to hear them at subways and airports where people normally met and Ray simply ignored the sound because of that. Though, he was tempted to peek below the clunky watch on his wrist that hid his Timer, forgetting if his time was up today or the next. (He had gotten so in the habit of not thinking about it, it was being forced into the back of his mind like a bad memory.)

When Michael finally surfaced, his back was to Ray and Ray could feel his heart beating almost out of his chest when he saw him. The butterflies that were previously in his stomach flew up his throat and into his brain. Beeping was going off again, this time louder, and Ray couldn’t even find the strength to look at his Timer. His blood pulsed in his ears and he was filled with confusion for a full second before realization hit. And then he was grinning, gasping for breath as giggles erupted from his throat because what the actual hell.

But Michael wasn’t smiling. He looked panicked and scared, with wide eyes and white knuckles. He glanced frantically at Ray’s wrist then back to his own. His eyes crinkled at the corner, looking sad with upturned brows and a slightly open mouth of concern. He lowered the camera he had in one hand and reached up to wipe at something on Ray’s face with the other.

Ray reached up to his own face and felt tears on his fingertips, which kind of explained why his vision had gotten so blurry. “Oh my god,” he choked out, wondering why his throat was choosing to close in on him in that moment. “What the hell is wrong with me.”

Michael just gave him a watery smile and guided him to a nearby bench. “It’s okay, Ray, it’s okay,” he said, running his hand up and down Ray’s back.

Ray shook his head. “I don’t even like you like that,” he muttered. “I just. Oh, my god.”

He hurriedly took off the chunky watch blocking his Timer to see the flashing zeros. It didn’t give him any of the relief that he may have been looking for but only solidified what was happening. Maybe he should pinch himself just in case this was a nightmare.

Without looking at Michael, he asked, “How much longer?”

“Ray, it’s not-”

“How much longer, Michael. … Please.”

“… Six months, ten days, 23 hours, 9 minutes.”

He nodded, looking at his hands. People passed by and no one gave them a second glance, even though Ray was crying. They didn’t talk and, despite constant horns, beeping Timers, and angry accents, the silence was screaming in Ray’s own ears to say something.

“I’m not- I’m not even upset, really,” he whispered. “This shouldn’t matter. I don’t like you like that.”

“You’ve already said that.” Michael’s hand didn’t stop. “It’s okay, you’re in shock. You’re attached to that Timer, remember?”

Ray half heartedly flapped a hand at him. “I never understood that shit.” The tears hadn’t stopped and a sudden sob ripped through him as he realized that he definitely could like Michael in a romantic sense. He definitely could spend the rest of his life playing video games with him, watching football, going to arcades and doing all sorts of stupid shit. He could spend his life laughing at Michael’s trivial rage, and watching the Roosterteeth crew grow old, and speculate about who would win game of the year. He could see Michael in his life.

And maybe it was the realization that the life he could have, that the life he should have, was lost, but he was sobbing uncontrollably with more snot and tears than when he watched the first Pokemon Movie.

If melancholy could be compared to rain, a tropical storm was brewing in his gut. Flashes of angry heat, nervous winds, and the sad floods filled him and he didn’t know what to do with himself. He constantly wiped the tears that came flowing freely when he really wanted to use his hand for a fist that could connect to Michael’s face.

Michael pulled him in close and it helped as much a water bottle quenched a forest fire.

 

—-

 

They agreed to be friends and Michael bought him some ice cream as some sort of fucked up “I’m sorry” present. Six months later, Michael had an interview with Achievement Hunter. And when he was hired, he promised to fly Ray out there some time.

When he met Gavin, it was all he would talk about for a month.

Ray was flown down to Austin, as promised, and got to meet Gavin. They got along well and Ray may have seriously thought of him as a friend if it wasn’t for burning jealousy that he could only suppress so much. Geoff liked him and invited him to do Achievement Guides from his own apartment in New York. From there, it didn’t take long for Ray to be hired full time, officially being involved in most of the Roosterteeth activities.

When Ray met Joel, it was all he would talk about for a year.

“Dude, I think you’re in love,” Michael said, slightly spewing the barbecue he had been chewing.

Ray apparently had been ranting about Joel’s humor and ability to act for the past thirty minutes if Michael’s eye roll was anything to go by. It’s not like Ray could help it. Joel was one of the few people who liked his dry humor and didn’t take any of Ray’s shit and happened to drive him places when he needed it. But that didn’t mean that Ray liked him or vice versa.

Ray rolled his eyes. “He Blanked and I… we can’t do that dating thing,” he said with a finger pointing like it backed up his argument.

With elbows propped on the table and his head in one hand, Michael leaned forward. “Dumbass, you do know that people fell in love before Timers existed right?”

“If someone could be in love with two people at once, polyamory would happen more often and be widely accepted,” Ray said, nonchalantly packing fries into his mouth.

Michael’s face contorted suddenly into something 5 parts pity and 1 part awkwardness that made Ray squirm in his seat uncomfortably, telling him how quickly the ‘normal-between-a-Taken-and-his-could’ve-been-Soulmate’ conversation had become a ‘not-to-have-in-public’ conversation. He glanced around the restaurant, then back at his food, wondering how ‘worth it’ it would be to dash out now before things got worse.

He gave a resigned sigh, knowing that his stomach wasn’t quite content and Michael would follow to unintentionally create a scene. “Michael…,” he started. “My Timer…”

Michael made a disgusted face and said, almost angrily, “Look, I don’t care what these damn stupid Timers say. They’re suppose to help people see the ones meant for them because they probably wouldn’t have been obvious. But this is fucking hurting you and god damn it, I want you to be happy. Our Timers may not have coordinated, but that doesn’t mean I don’t care about you.

“If this was some alternate reality without these damn things, maybe you wouldn’t even have realized you had feelings for me. Maybe I wouldn’t be with Gavin. Maybe I’d be with some nice girl from this country. Maybe Barbara wouldn’t be looking for the other point to her broken triangle. Maybe you and Joel would’ve ended up together. These Timers are controlling us, for better and worse, and I don’t want you to listen to them because they aren’t doing a damn good thing for you.”

It was probably pitiful that Ray didn’t feel enlightened or inspired by Michael’s rant. Rather, he wondered if Michael should listen to his own advice, and reevaluate the life he was trying live with Gavin. If Timers shouldn’t control lives, then maybe Michael should give it a try.

“-so when we get back to the office, Joel is hopefully going to ask you out to the bar and you’re going to say yes.”

And because he knew it wasn’t worth arguing, Ray nodded along.

When they got back to the ever prestigious Achievement Hunter office, Joel was waiting in front of the door.

“Ray, can I talk to you for a second?” he asked as soon as he noticed him.

After a shared glance with Michael (who had a suddenly appearing Gavin on his arm), Ray nodded and went off with Joel. It was only to the nearby kitchen, but most of the employees had cleared out to get back to work, save for Miles and Kerry who were giggling over some new project they had.

“So, I don’t know what your Timer says and, to be frank, I don’t care, but I was hoping you and I could go to the bar tonight with everyone else? You know, like a date or something. But not really.” Joel was not nearly as nervous as Ray imagined he would be. He did talk way too fast, but clearly enough that Ray could understand him and his hands were moving every which way even though it didn’t even coordinate with what he was saying.

Ray cocked an eyebrow. “‘But not really?’”he asked.

“Well, I mean, I could try to walk you home after but don’t expect some kiss on the front door,” Joel explained with a smirk and eyeroll.

And it was easy for Ray to smile back and say, “Yeah, sure, we can go on a not date,” even as he knew that he didn’t really care for the bar scene or drunk people.

“Sweet,” Joel said, grinning and talking too fast again. “Alright, cool, tonight 7:30 ish, I’ll be there, don’t be asleep.”

And then he was gone and Ray was going back to the office, making eye contact with Michael, whose grin was almost just like Joel’s, devillish with a hint of ‘way too excited for his own good.’

And because that first night at the bar didn’t go too bad (meaning Ray only had to say once that, no, he would not like some beer, go shove that alcohol down someone else’s throat), Ray agreed to go back the next week. And the week after, he let Joel take him to see a movie at the Alamo Drafthouse.

One of the great things about Joel is that he always talked. He didn’t talk in the way that suggested what he had to say was more important than anyone else’s. He talked to talk, about dumb things and important things and things that didn’t quite really make sense. And he talked to engross people, to drag them into his conversation and prompt their response. Ray felt no pressure to talk to fill up silences and was glad that they never seemed to be out of things to say to each other.

But that didn’t mean his loquacious behavior didn’t come with bad things as well.

“I literally cannot believe you got us kicked out of the Alamo,” Ray said, grinning even as they walked away from the showing of the Hobbit.

“Sorry,” Joel said, not looking sorry at all. “I forgot they are actually kind of strict about that.”

“You know this means I’m never going to see a movie with you ever again, right?”

“Ah, your loss.” Joel’s giant hand found Ray’s and he looped their fingers. Ray didn’t stop him. “So, let’s go get ice cream and then I’ll drive you home.”

Ray rolled his eyes jokingly. “Well, I guess…”

Honestly, Joel was dramatic with his speech and actions, but that was what made him fun. Ray liked fun. So he just grinned and watched as Joel told his elaborate stories with a waving hand and way too many adjectives to be safe. He didn’t stop Joel from giving a straight faced, innocent interrogation to the poor teenager at Coldstone Creamery they were ordering ice cream from. He let Joel walk him to the front door of his apartment even though they both knew he could walk up a single flight of stairs fine by himself because Joel had insisted.

“So, you know, we could do this again sometime, except maybe do something cooler instead of a movie, like skydiving or something,” Joel said, voice soft but probably because it was 12:30 AM and he had a very loud voice.

Ray nodded and leaned back against the door of his apartment. “Yeah, I’d like that,” he smiled.

And Joel kissed him. There was none of the dilly dally involved with high schoolers or romantic movies. There was no ‘magnetic force’ slowly pulling them together. There was just Joel, showing white teeth in a small grin, pushing forward and catching Ray.

They stumbled as much as lips could, fumbling with how to work out the height and where do put their hands and how did they want this kiss to work. Ray settled on wrapping his arms around Joel’s neck, one hand fiddling with his hair. Joel lead the kiss, pressing their lips together and dragging with the softest friction when they moved. When Ray somehow ended up with Joel’s tongue in his mouth, tasting like vanilla and waffle cones, he didn’t question it; welcomed it.

But he did wonder if this is how Michael would’ve kissed.

 

—-

 

Joel absolutely adored Ray. He was just all smiles and dry humor and well placed ‘eh’s. He joked, didn’t know how to drive (or ride a bike), put hearts at the end of half of his tweets and Joel just adored him. Apparently, it had showed because Michael had incessantly poked him in the back and whispered, “Ask him out, fuckface,” until he eventually did.

Ray was great to hang out with and let Joel actually do what he wanted to do and Joel really just wanted to find out what he was like in the morning. Ray kissed sweetly, sucking gently on lips and taking his time and Joel wondered what he’d be like in bed. Joel wanted to know a lot of things, but a lot of them involved either what the actual fuck was Iran doing with the gold market or what a sleepover with Ray would be like.

And it had been two months and Joel wondered if he was actually taking too long to make a move. He had nothing to go off of; their situation wasn’t normal. Soulmates knew they were made for each other, had some rocky starts because they had previously been strangers, but eventually were having sex within 3 weeks because they clicked. He read romance novels that depicted lands without Timers and the main characters seemed to be living together within two to four months. Yet, Joel had barely gotten Ray’s shirt off just the other week. And he hadn’t even gotten the courage to ask about Ray’s Timer.

He didn’t want to pressure him at all. He was suppose to be the mature one because he was older. He was suppose to make sure that they were both comfortable with this. But he really wanted to have a god damn sleepover. Not even sex! He just wanted to sleep in the same bed with Ray and wake him up in the morning with a better breakfast than Frosted Flakes.

And so, instead of going out, Joel invited Ray over one night to watch the Steelers game and play some video games. He said he would drive Ray home, and he would, as long as Ray wanted to go home. He just wouldn’t insist upon it. (He was fully aware of how not okay this was and tried to fix his karma by making a great dinner and reminding Ray that he could go home at any time.)

“You wouldn’t happen to have some dessert, would you? A nice pie, maybe?” Ray asked when the game and dinner had ended, a grin on his face and a slight lilt of laughter in his voice.

“No, but I do have cake!” Joel said, getting up in order to get it.

Ray’s smile slightly dropped and he shrugged his shoulders. “Ah, no thanks. I’m not a big fan of cake or icing.”

Joel stopped halfway to his apartment kitchen, looked at Ray once, then shrugged. “Alright. So, you ready to go home?” he asked.

“What? Now? It’s only 8:20, Joel!” Ray looked astonished, holding up an xBox controller in one hand (Joel’s eyes were caught up on the sight of Ray’s slap band that hid his Timer). “I haven’t even kicked your ass in Halo yet!”

“Pssh, anyone could kick my ass in Halo. If you want to impress me, beat me in Dead Space.”

“That’s a single player game.”

“I thought you wanted to impress me.”

Ray rolled his eyes and Joel sat beside him, grinning. They played for hours, going through Halo, COD, Minecraft, and a few of the multiplayer indie games Joel had. Joel had tried to get Ray to play Portal 2 with him, but Ray had adamantly refused, claiming that he “heard all about Portal 2 from Jack, thanks.”

It was almost midnight when Joel again asked if Ray wanted to go home.

“Nah… I like it here. Besides, sleeping here shouldn’t be too bad. Unless you snore,” Ray said smiling.

Joel threw an arm over Ray’s shoulders, making obnoxiously fake snoring sounds as he did.

“Holy shit, you suck,” Ray laughed, pushing at Joel’s chest, “I might just walk home.”

He jokingly fell over because of Ray’s pushes, pulling Ray with him. Joel pulled the younger man close and him a wet kiss on the cheek, the smile that curled on his face almost ruining it. Ray laughed, rubbing his face onto Joel’s shirt while Joel snickered into his hair.

“You’re an asshole,” Ray said, still laughing but volume lowered. He wrapped his arms around Joel’s torso the best that he could and settled on top of him.

“At least I’m cute,” Joel said.

God, he was comfortable. He could lay like this forever. Sleep like this, even. But it was only 12 AM and neither of them were close to tired.

“Hm, never said that,” Ray responded, smiling lips pressed against the skin shown by Joel’s douchey v-neck.

Joel tried to kiss the top of Ray’s head, but found that lips pulled tight across teeth made bad for kissing. Ray tried to run his hand absentmindedly along Joel’s side, but Joel quickly put a stop to the light tickling and curled their fingers together, brushing his bare wrist against Ray’s slap band. He ran his other hand along Ray’s spine, Timer catching lightly on the shirt, and Ray had his making patterns on his shoulder.

The light from the TV was on, flashing the title screen for L4D2. Joel wondered why they hadn’t put Netflix on when they got tired of the games. It’d keep them from the silence. Not that Joel minded, because this sort of silence was warm and comfortable, but he really wanted to ask about Ray’s Timer and there was nothing stopping him now.

Ray shifted, moving his hand so that he could put his chin on it and look at Joel. “Hey, Joel?” he said, phrasing his name in such a way that it sounded like a delicate question.

Joel moved himself accordingly, scooting up the couch to prop his own head against the armrest. “Yeah?”

“What, um, well, you- What happened to your Timer?” Ray asked, brows furrowed in concern and words coming out in rushed nervousness.

Joel raised an eyebrow. “You know if I answer, I’ll expect you to answer the same, right?”

Ray took in a deep breath and nodded best he could. “Ye-yeah,” he said a bit shakily.

“Well, I Blanked. Everyone at the office knows that…,” Joel answered almost warily. He took his left hand away from Ray’s back and showed him the dead, dull Timer.

“No,” Ray said, lightly shaking his head, “I meant, like… what happened? That day.”

Oh.

Joel took him a deep breath from his nose and let it out his mouth. Well, it would’ve been inevitable if he wanted to date Ray seriously. They would eventually had to talk about why they weren’t living happily in some suburb with 2 and a half kids and a white picket fence and were instead dating in a world of Soulmates. How to go about this, though… He couldn’t even remember the majority of the night it happened.

He let the silence between them drag on and was glad that Ray waited patiently for his thoughts to be collected.

“Um.. okay,” Joel started, looking at the ceiling because the ceiling couldn’t react to his story, “It was New Year’s Eve, 1993. I was still in college and I could officially drink legally, so I don’t remember much. I remember having a week left and celebrating with the guys about it and thinking about hooking up with people while I still could. I remember that it didn’t seem real. I remember it hurting like a bitch.

“One minute, we were doing shots of tequila, the next I was crying on the floor because my wrist felt like it was snapping. Fucking Matt kept saying the next day that it was okay that I cried because we have some bull shit emotional bond with Timers. .. We, uh, tried to find her the next day, search obituaries from all over the country of people who still had Time. But, you know, uh, a lot of people die on New Year’s Eve.”

Joel was going to shoot whichever cell that was telling his eyes to tear up. He didn’t want to fucking cry. Not tonight. Not after he got his sleepover. So he screwed his eyes shut, willing back the tears and the memories of too much alcohol and fireworks.

Ray was quiet, only letting his thumb drag along Joel’s hand, and Joel could’ve kissed him for that. Joel could’ve just hugged him to death for letting the silence drag and not commenting on his slightly heavier breathing. When he felt safe, Joel opened his eyes and looked back at Ray, who seemed concerned.

Trying for a smile that probably came out a bit watery, Joel asked, “What about yours?”

“Oh,” Ray whispered. “I, uhm.” He let out a deep breath and untangled his hand from Joel’s. He sat up and Joel sat up with him. Ray pulled off the slap band, careful to keep his Timer facing him as he adjust himself in Joel’s lap.

They looked at each other and Ray looked back at his wrist, biting his lip a little and eyes already looking wet. Slowly, he flipped out his wrist to show blinking zeroes.

Joel didn’t even think before he felt his muscles tightening. “Oh my god,” he whispered before he even processed exactly what he was freaking out over.

He had assumed Ray had Blanked as well, but was too scared to show it. Joel had been that way for at least ten years after he Blanked. It was normal to hide a Blank Timer in order to avoid questions. But no. Ray hadn’t Blanked. Ray had a Soulmate.

Ray was still biting his lip and searching Joel’s face. Joel wished he knew what sort of faces he should be making, because there was no way shock was going to be any good in this situation.

“You’re Taken,” Joel said, slowly and heavily because his tongue was flopping, trying to get all of the words out. “Oh, my god. Who is he? She? I mean, did you just leave them or- do they not know?”

Most people would say Joel was freaking out, talking too fast and arms waving to gesture to a person that wasn’t there. And they would be absolutely correct.

“No, no, no, it’s not- he’s Taken,” Ray said hurriedly, hands waving in order to combat Joel’s own manic movements.

Joel froze the minute the word dropped. “Oh,” he whispered.

On one hand, he was relieved, quite frankly. That meant no one would be hunting Ray, no one would be taking Ray away. On the other, he was… he was definitely something. Upset, confused, hurt for Ray, scared at the realization that Ray had someone else he probably loved that wasn’t Joel.

And, God, Ray was crying, fuck.

“No, no, baby, it’s okay, it’s okay, this is good for us, we’re opening up, this is good,” Joel said, attempting to go slowly but ending up crashing his words into one another.

Ray ran a hand over his face after taking his glasses off with the other. He mumbled something into his hand.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t hear that?” Joel asked, cautious and ten times slower than last time.

Ray mumbled again, only slightly clearer and with more hiccups. Joel was began rubbing his back, making stupid circle patterns and going up down hoping that it would help in some way. It helped him, gave him something to focus instead of what this situation meant. He let Ray cry, not wanting to press any farther before Ray was able to say something, especially since he was at least halfway sure that Ray was trying to name his Soulmate.

“It was -,” Ray hiccuped, rubbing snot from his nose, “-Michael.”

Michael.

There was only one Michael that they both knew. (Well, two, but Burnie definitely would’ve said something earlier to Joel.)

Joel couldn’t even fathom a response to that and Ray just sucked in another sob. So, he pulled him in close, hoping to hold together the man falling apart in his lap. Ray buried his face into the joint of his shoulder and neck and Joel had arms wrapped around him like an anaconda. The sounds Ray was making reverberated through Joel’s collar bones and shake his core and Joel wants to fucking cry too.

He wanted to cry because Ray subjected himself every day to watching Gavin and Michael, went to lunch with them, smiled every day as if he wasn’t watching his heart being ripped out because of the way Gavin giggled in Michael’s hair. God, what if Michael and Ray had tried to date before they ended up in Austin? What if Ray had just let himself be hurt, deciding that he could deal with a life alone because his Soulmate already had one? Ray and Michael worked together every day and had known each other before this job and why the hell would Ray continue to see Michael every day. It had to fucking hurt to just wake up in the morning and goddamnit how did Ray do that?

Joel was probably hurting Ray because he was so goddamn tiny and Joel’s arms were too thick, but he had to hold Ray together. Ray wasn’t wiggling out or complaining, hands twisted into the back of Joel’s shirt as sobs shook his body.

“It’s going to be okay,” Joel whispered, arms wrapped around Ray’s shoulders. “It’s going to be okay.”

Joel was slapping on ‘it’ll be fine’s like they were band-aids, hoping they’d stick and stop the flow of tears coming from Ray, would hold together pieces of a broken heart. He was trying so desperately to help but he didn’t know what to do. What was he suppose to say?

‘Yeah, I Blanked, so I kind of get it.’

‘Well, you have me now.’

‘I mean, it could be worse.’

‘I once knew a guy who…’

Nothing seemed right, appropriate. Nothing was right. He couldn’t think of damn thing to say that would heal the wounds Ray had, the liquid concrete that would keep him whole, so he stuck to the tried and true method of ‘It’s going to be okay.’

Many of the words simply fell off Ray, washed away by his tears, but Joel didn’t stop. He never stopped with his mantra, not until Ray’s sobs softened into hiccups and shaky breaths. He was whispering it in his ears and trailing fingers along his spine, hoping that if he just kept trying then Ray would be fixed because this was the only thing he could try.

Ray had his hands fisted into Joel’s sweatshirt, red eyes staring blankly at Joel’s shoulder when he finally pulled back. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered.

Joel’s arms relaxed, moving to loosely wrap around Ray’s ribcage.

“For crying?” Joel asked, voice reminding himself of when he tried to approach a scared and hurt dog in the alley to help it.

“For… this. I mean… now you know that I will never- Michael was suppose to- I just, I love you. Please don’t think that I don’t. Just not…,” Ray trailed off, twisting his hands tighter into the soft fabric.

Joel didn’t need him to finish. ‘I will never love you as much as Michael. Michael was suppose to be my Soulmate. I love you. Just not like Michael.’

“It’s okay,” Joel said, and this time he wasn’t sure who needed to hear it more.

His arms tightened around Ray and Ray nuzzled his face into Joel’s neck, whispered apologies that shouldn’t be necessary falling between them.

**Author's Note:**

> Another old fic from Christmas 2013! Original- http://fidgegunkhause.tumblr.com/post/71259394357/soulmates-dont-always-work


End file.
